HAPPY NEW YEAR! It's the Year of the Pig. (really.) Speaking of Pigs, let's move onto my first New Year's Resolution...
1. LOSE BETWEEN ONE AND SEVENTY POUNDS. (I know this is THE most common resolution, but I think it's doable. At least until I can afford to go out to The Cheesecake Factory again. Anyone want to donate to my TrimSpa™ fund? <----- insert sad face here.)
2. DRINK MORE ALCOHOL, EAT LESS FAST FOOD. (My tolerance has suddenly become that of a 12yo Morman schoogirl. I had two gin/seltzers at The Hilltop and was sufficiently buzzed. That shouldn't happen - ever. I feel as though I am letting down my Native American/Irish heritage and that makes me feel sad when I should be feeling nothing at all. hic.)
3. LEARN TO EMBRACE THE DESIGN HANDICAPPED. (I'm not going to be the next Milton Glaser, let me just put that out there, but come on - Martha. Dear, dear Martha. Jump ship now - in exchange, I will give you a hug and help you in a new direction - like retail.)
4. BUY A NEW TELEVISION. (It's come to my attention that my clunky 27", 120 lb.+ monstrosity of a televison is SO 1990. It's also come to my attention that I should move on to a new, slimmer model; a 40" BRAVIA™ XBR® LCD Flat Panel HDT to be more specific - it weighs 70lbs and is like one John Holmes' penis size larger. If I plan on moving to Manhattan anytime in the future, I need to lose some excess baggage and just think, if I lost that TV and my Resolution #1, that would be almost 200lbs. of baggage GONE! For the first time in this list I am smiling.)
I will probably, more likely than not, opt out (intentionally or not) on a few, if not all of these. I will try to then append this list and make it a more realistic goal.
